Wedding Planning 101: How to Plan Your Wedding Step by Step
- Kelly Formel
- Dec 18, 2025
- 16 min read
Updated: Dec 20, 2025
Smart tips, clear steps, and “I wish I had known this earlier” insights for couples who want to plan with confidence.
Congratulations — you’re engaged! Now the planning begins. You’re stepping into a season filled with decisions about the venue, style, guest experience, and all the details that bring your vision to life. It’s a lot to consider, but with the right approach, it becomes exciting rather than overwhelming.
I created this Wedding Planning 101 guide to give you the clarity and confidence most couples wish they had from day one. These are the smart tips, clear steps, and “I wish I had known this earlier” insights that help you stay focused on what truly matters. Give yourself at least 6 months to plan thoughtfully and move through the process with ease. You’re not just prepared, you’re ahead of the curve.
How I've laid everything out for you in this guide:
Start With Your Guest List
Decide: Local or Destination
Choose Your Potential Wedding Dates
Tour Venues
Stye Decisions: Attire and Florals
Food and Catering
Hire Your Photographer and Videographer
DJ or Band
Alcohol and Bar Service
Build Your Wedding Website
Send Save the Dates (Optional)
Create and Send Invitations
Wedding Planner: To Hire or Not to Hire
A Little Heart to Heart for the Couple
Average Wedding Costs (2025)
1. Start With Your Guest List
Everything rides on your guest count, such as your venue, catering, budget, even your vibe. Ask yourself: Do you want a more intimate gathering (around 50 guests or fewer) or a grand celebration (150+)?
Tips:
Start as soon as possible with this task and don’t panic when the list looks huge.
Start broad, then trim down. There will be several versions of this list before you land on the final one. Give yourself 3 days to 2 weeks to finalize.
You and your fiancé should each create your own list, then combine and edit together. You can run your final list by your mom, your sister, or your bestie to check if you missed anyone, but keep in mind, the more people you include in this process, the more complicated it can get.
Most couples overestimate attendance. Here’s what the data shows:
Local weddings: 75–90% of invited guests usually attend.
Destination weddings: Expect closer to 50%.
Weekday or holiday weekends: Roughly 60–70%.
2. Decide: Local or Destination
You don't need to decide exactly where, just whether it is going to be local or destination. Think about the kind of pictures you want, think about the day after the wedding and where you would want to wake up. If you are not ready to commit yet because you want to understand the cost first? Then at least start by creating basic criteria for both scenarios. For example:
If it’s local, it needs to have a view.
If it’s destination, it has to be by the beach.
Setting these standards early will help guide your decision later and keep you from getting overwhelmed by endless options.
Tips:
If it is local you will most likely have more guests attend your wedding. If it is a destination, you may have fewer guests, but can share an experience with close ones in a beautiful location and giving everyone a reason to travel.
3. Choose Your Potential Wedding Dates
Your date will be based on weather, season, and your personal schedule. Pick two or three possible dates before visiting venues. Having flexibility will make booking easier.
Tips:
Weather first: Avoid extreme heat or cold so you and your guests are comfortable.
Avoid busy months: Steer clear of mid-November through mid-January (holiday season).
Check your own calendar: Avoid overlap with major family events (like Christmas, Mother’s Day, or birthdays) to keep future anniversaries stress-free.
Need inspiration? Explore these wedding-date superstitions and meanings.
Still stuck? Book a planning session with me and I’ll help you find your ideal windows.
4. Tour Venues
A large portion of your wedding budget will go toward the venue, so it’s worth taking time to search and vet locations thoroughly. Start on Yelp or Google, but don’t limit yourself to traditional “wedding venues.” Many stunning options aren’t marketed that way. Think creatively — restaurants with private rooms, rooftop spaces, gardens, art museums, boutique hotels, country clubs, private estates, or even a well-designed backyard. For destination weddings, begin with your dream locations and browse Pinterest, Instagram, or DestinationWeddings.com to compare options and narrow your list.
Before touring venues, prepare yourself with:
A few potential wedding dates in mind
The number of people you are planning to invite and how many are local to the area and how many are out-of-towners (this will help estimate your guest attendance).
Tips:
Never reveal your full budget upfront.
Only negotiate after you’ve received the full list of inclusions from each venue in writing. Compare what’s included, how many hours you get, and any extras or add-ons. Expect small adjustments rather than major price drops.
Take photos and videos so you can compare venues accurately later.
Tour with your partner — you’ll both notice different details and make a stronger decision together.
If your venue offers catering, schedule a tasting before signing the contract.
5. Style Decisions: Attire and Florals
Some decisions are just as important as logistics, but they are far more influenced by personal style. Wedding attire and florals fall squarely into this category. Once your venue and date are set, begin collecting inspiration for wedding attire and floral design. Pinterest and saved photos are helpful tools for identifying patterns in the style you’re drawn to.
Tips on Wedding Attire for the Couple and Wedding Party:
Begin looking early. Alterations and hemming often take 3-6 months.
If you have a wedding party, expect varying preferences. One common approach is to select a color or fabric and allow individuals to choose their own cut. Another is choosing both color and cut for a cohesive look.
Plan your footwear strategically. Many brides wear formal shoes for the ceremony and photos, then switch to more comfortable options for dancing.
If your gown is long or heavy, consider changing into a simpler second dress later in the evening so you can enjoy the celebration fully.
Tips on Florals:
Seasonal flowers are typically more budget-friendly and readily available.
Start pinning styles you love, but stay flexible. Your florist can guide you toward options that fit your vision and your budget.
Florals should complement the setting, not compete with it.
These decisions are largely driven by personal style. Once the foundational planning is in place, they become some of the most creative and enjoyable parts of the process and often play a big role in elevating how the day ultimately feels.
6. Finally, the Food!
If your venue provides catering, schedule a tasting asap and take notes. If you’re sourcing your own caterer, explore local options — most offer a standard mix of meat, chicken, fish, and vegetarian dishes. Decide what style of dining you want:
Plated dining: A more formal experience that requires gathering guests’ meal choices on the RSVP card.
Buffet style: A flexible, simple, and often more cost-effective option. No need to collect individual meal selections.
Food truck(s): A fun alternative. I’ve attended beautiful weddings that used food trucks, and it made the entire evening feel relaxed, memorable, and unique.
If you’re doing plated service, decide which main dishes you’ll offer and how you’ll handle dietary needs, so you can include the appropriate meal selection card with your invitation.
Questions to Ask Your Caterer (Before you sign!):
Have you catered at this venue before?
How do you ensure you don't run out of food?
How do you manage and track dietary restrictions?
Do you provide the wedding cake? If not, will you handle the cake-cutting service and supply plates and silverware? (Some caterers charge an extra fee for this, so check your final quote.)
Is the tip included in the final bill? (If not, expect a standard gratuity of 15–20% of the total food and beverage cost.)
Will you handle the clean up?
Who will be managing everything the day of?
What drinks do you offer and do you provide bartender service?
7. Hire Your Photographer and Videographer
Your photographer and videographer are two of the most important vendors you will book, and they tend to fill their calendars months (sometimes a year or more) in advance. Begin this search soon after securing your venue. Start by looking for local vendors or asking your venue for a recommended list. Many photographers work with an in-house videography partner or have a trusted team they collaborate with regularly, while others keep these as separate services. Ask early so you know whether you are booking one vendor or two, and always review full portfolios or social galleries to understand their style.
Tips:
A videographer is worth it. Even if you are being mindful of your budget, having your vows, voices, and day captured on film becomes priceless — especially when your children one day ask to hear the story of your wedding.
Photographers typically structure their packages in hour blocks (such as four hours, six hours, or full-day coverage) with the option to add hours as needed. Plan start times strategically based on what you want captured — getting ready, first look, ceremony, sunset photos, or the reception.
Communicate what matters most. Share any preferred angles, meaningful poses, or must-have family combinations ahead of time. A good photographer will build these into your timeline so nothing gets missed.
8. DJ or Band
Music plays a major role in how your wedding feels, but most couples choose one option rather than both. A DJ is typically more cost-effective and offers flexibility across genres, while a live band can create a high-energy, performance-driven atmosphere. Either choice can work beautifully depending on your priorities, budget, and guest mix.
Tips:
Whether you hire a DJ or a band, choose someone who can also serve as the MC and provide them with a timeline for your big day.
Ask how many weddings they have performed at. Weddings require a different skill set than other events.
Ask how they engage the crowd.
Ask about their style. Is humor part of their approach? Do they run games or have a more polished flow?
Clarify the playlist process. Do they curate it, collaborate with you, or expect you to provide one?
The right music partner sets the tone for the entire celebration and keeps the day moving effortlessly.
9. Alcohol and Bar Service
If you’re having a dry wedding, you can skip this section entirely. If you’re serving alcohol, you and your partner will need to decide what type of bar service you want to offer.
Here are combinations that keep things simple while still allowing guests to have a great time:
Beer and wine only
Beer, wine, and one or two signature drinks
Wine and two signature drinks
Open bar until a set cut-off time, then beer and wine
Full open bar for the entire event
Hybrid Hosted Bar (Couple pays for beer, wine, and signature drinks; guests pay for shots or premium liquor.)
Timed Open Bar + Cash Bar After (2-3 hours open bar then cash bar for the final hours)
If your venue includes a bartending service, great! This makes the process much easier. If your venue doesn’t offer bartending but allows outside vendors, confirm what the requirements are to before you get quotes.
Tips:
Confirm if there is a corkage fee if you bring your own alcohol, such as champagne.
Get multiple quotes. Some bartenders itemize every garnish and mixer, which means you're relying on their tracking. Others offer a simpler, all-inclusive approach. Comparing both styles will help you avoid surprises. Don't forget to ask if gratuity is included.
Have water stations nearby so guests aren’t clogging the bar for water.
Add simple signage for signature drinks to reduce questions and speed up lines.
Staffing
Aim for one bartender per 40–50 guests; always have at least two for weddings over 50 guests.
Service & Setup
Ask for photos of past bar setups.
Ask what brands of alcohol they provide, especially if you have preferences.
Confirm any alcohol cut-off times (many venues stop service 30–60 minutes before the event ends or at a set hour).
Alcohol & Costs
Confirm who purchases the alcohol and whether it’s cheaper to buy it yourself.
Confirm who’s supplying the glassware. It’s a small detail that can lead to surprise fees or, worse, plastic cups when you weren’t expecting them.
Get multiple quotes. Some bartenders itemize every garnish and mixer; others offer an all-inclusive rate. Ask whether gratuity is included.
Guest Experience:
Place water stations near the bar to reduce lines.
Add simple signage for signature drinks to cut down on questions and keep service moving.
10. Build Your Wedding Website
You don’t need every page on your site to be perfectly built out yet, but start with the essentials:
Your story and a few meaningful photos
Travel and accommodation details (especially for destination weddings)
A short list of things to do in the area for out-of-town guests
Registry links and RSVP information
FAQ Section - This dramatically reduces texts and emails.
From there, add a few key sections that guests truly rely on:
Wedding Weekend Timeline
Guests will look for this first. Include:
Ceremony start time
Cocktail hour
Reception start/end
Any pre- or post-events (welcome dinner, brunch)
Dress Code
Give a clear dress code, such as:
Garden Formal
Cocktail Attire
Beach Chic
Black Tie Optional
Transportation & Parking Details
Clarity here helps avoid confusion later. Especially helpful if:
The venue is hard to find
Parking is limited
There’s a shuttle or rideshare drop-off is separate from the entrance
Ceremony & Reception Locations (With Maps)
Even if everything is in the same place, embed a map.
Kids or No Kids?
Every couple approaches this differently. Many choose an adults-only celebration for a variety of reasons, but it’s worth remembering that asking guests to travel can be more challenging for parents. Some may prefer to bring their children rather than leave them at home, especially for destination weddings. With that in mind, some couples choose to welcome kids and let parents decide what works best for their family. Clear, gentle wording helps set expectations either way:
“Adults-only celebration.”
“Kids welcome!”
This approach gives parents the flexibility they often appreciate when travel is involved.
Weather Expectations
Guests appreciate knowing what to prepare for:
Outdoor ceremony?
Covered reception?
Grass (so heels may sink)?
A simple note works well: “Ceremony will be outdoors on the grass. We recommend a light jacket as evenings can get cool.”
Additional Tips:
If you don’t have recent photos together as a couple, schedule a quick photoshoot or ask a friend to take simple, clean shots. They don’t need to be elaborate. Save the investment for your wedding photographer later.
Start building your registry early or keep it simple with a Honeyfund if you prefer cash gifts. For destination weddings, consider skipping a wedding registry altogether. Guests are already investing in travel, so you can reserve your registry for the bridal shower rather than the wedding invitation or website.
11. Send “Save the Dates” (Optional)
If you have guests traveling or want people to secure your date early, consider sending a “Save the Date” whether as a card, magnet, or digital version.
When to send:
Typically 6–12 months before the wedding
9–12 months for destination weddings
Save the Dates are helpful, but they’re completely optional. Feel free to skip them if you prefer to go straight to invitations.
12. Create and Send Invitations
If you skipped Save the Dates, that’s completely fine. Aim to send your invitations 4–6 months before the big day (a little earlier for destination weddings).
Top Wedding Invitation Websites:
Minted
Shutterfly
Zola
Paperless Post
Etsy
What to Include in Your Invitation Suite:
Main invitation
Wedding website link
RSVP card or digital RSVP info
Meal preference card (if offering plated options)
Details card (optional but helpful for dress code, parking, shuttle info)
For plated meals: include entrée options + a line for dietary restrictions. For buffet meals: skip entrée selections but still ask for dietary needs.
Sending Your Invitations:
If mailing invitations, order a few samples first to compare color and quality.
Avoid texting invitations — it sets the wrong tone for a wedding.
Electronic invitations are perfectly acceptable today; just send them with a warm message: “Hi (name), we hope you can join us to celebrate our big day! Here is the link to our wedding invitation.”
Set your RSVP deadline early enough to finalize catering and seating charts. As a guideline:
6–8 weeks before the wedding
Earlier for destination weddings
Confirm your vendors’ deadlines for final headcounts.
Use a return address stamp or have your invitation website print it — it saves major time.
Envelope Etiquette:
Formal:
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Ms. Sarah Smith and guest (formal plus-one wording)
Dr. Sarah Smith (use “Dr.” when addressing anyone with a doctoral degree)
The Smith Family (families with children under 18)
Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Chloe Smith, Dylan Smith, and Noah Smith(families with adult children at the same address)
Adult children at a different address receive their own invitation
Informal:
John and Sarah Smith
Sarah Smith and guest (informal plus-one wording)
When in doubt, lean toward the more formal option.
Track RSVPs Like a Pro
Keep your system simple, clean, and organized from the start. Decide what tracking method you are going to use ( I used Excel for mine). Whatever method you use, assign one person to manage the tracker so you don’t end up wondering whether your partner already updated it and you can easily manage:
Guest responses
Meal selections (if offering plated options)
Dietary restrictions
Plus-ones
Contact information
Number of adults vs. children attending (if kids are welcome)
Any notes you may need for seating charts and vendor communication
Update your tracker regularly as responses come in so you’re not scrambling as deadlines approach. This one step will save you hours when final counts, seating arrangements, and catering details are due.
13. Wedding Planner: To Hire or Not to Hire?
Hiring a wedding planner can be an incredible asset, but it’s not the right choice for every couple. Some planners handle everything with seamless precision, offering design concepts and vendor teams you may never have discovered on your own. Others may require frequent check-ins or juggle multiple large events at once, which can leave you doing more follow-up than expected.
Most planners charge around 20% of the total wedding cost, and many have preferred vendor relationships. But let’s get one thing straight: It is not a wedding planner’s job to negotiate pricing for you. Their role is coordination, logistics, and execution. Negotiating discounts is not part of their scope, and in some cases asking them to help you lower vendor pricing can conflict with their professional partnerships. Yet, they can be an incredible asset in other areas. So… is a wedding planner worth it? It depends on which type of bride or couple you are and at what point you bring them on.
Which Bride Are You?
The Organized Type-A Bride
"I can do this myself, but I want backup." You could probably run your wedding from your phone and a color-coded spreadsheet. But on your actual wedding day, do you want to enjoy the moment or troubleshoot vendor arrivals? A month-of or day-of coordinator is your best investment. It protects your peace so you can be fully present.
The Busy Professional Couple
"I am too busy to manage this." If scheduling vendor calls is starting to feel like a second job, outsourcing may be your sanity saver. Hire a pro. A full-service planner handles outreach, timelines, logistics, and decisions that would drain your calendar.
The Creative Vision Bride
"I love design but not logistics." You know exactly how you want the wedding to look, but bringing it to life is another story. A planner with a strong design background can translate your mood board into a cohesive, guest-ready experience — and connect you with the right vendors to execute it.
The Budget-Conscious Bride
"I want to save money." Going without a planner can save thousands upfront, but a good planner may help you avoid costly mistakes (like misunderstanding venue restrictions or missing hidden fees). If you feel confident navigating small hiccups and staying organized under pressure, DIY planning is doable.
So… bottomline, is a Wedding Planner Worth It?
If you’re organized, calm under pressure, and enjoy managing details: You may not need full planning, but a month-of or day-of coordinator is highly recommended so you can relax, get ready, and enjoy your celebration without dealing with logistics.
If you’re busy, easily overwhelmed, or want a seamless, guided experience: A full planner brought on early in the process is worth the investment. They manage the hundreds of micro-decisions and behind-the-scenes tasks you’d otherwise be juggling on your own
Tips:
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No matter which direction you choose, the goal is a celebration that feels smooth, meaningful, and true to the two of you. Choose the level of support that allows you to stay present for the moments that matter most.
14. A Little Heart-to-Heart for the Couple
It’s easy to feel pressure during wedding planning, but try to avoid slipping into an overly demanding role. Even though you’re paying your vendors, they are professionals who genuinely want your day to go beautifully. Most issues that arise are simply miscommunications, not intentional oversights.
Take a breath. Clear expectations, timely responses, and basic kindness will always serve you better than pressure whether it’s wedding planning or any project that comes after. It's a journey. Be gracious, be clear, and you’ll create a planning experience that supports you rather than drains you.
15. Average Wedding Costs (2025)
With that perspective in mind, let’s take a look at one of the most common questions couples ask once the planning begins: What does a wedding actually cost? These estimates do not include engagement rings, honeymoons, or separate wedding planner fees.
US National: $33–50K
California: $36–50K ($44–60K in major cities)
Texas: $24–26K
New York: $36–39K ($75K+ in major metro areas)Final Costs
The cost of a wedding will depend on the location, guest count, and vendor selections. The major cost categories for a wedding are the venue, catering, photography, flowers and decor. If you want to dive deeper into wedding costs, you can explore Nerd Wallet's wedding cost calculator here.
A Few Last Words
Wedding planning does not need to feel overwhelming. With a little structure, a few key decisions, and a clear sense of your priorities, the process can become surprisingly enjoyable. Whether you are hosting 30 guests on a beach or 150+ in a ballroom, your wedding should feel personal, meaningful, and unmistakably yours.
Remember that every wedding has its imperfect moments and that is part of the charm. I had a tsunami warning 2 hours before my own ceremony and everything still turned out beautifully. You may have hiccups along the way and that is completely normal. Most guests will not notice, and even if they do, they will forget it soon enough. The only true disaster is being left at the altar... and if you are marrying the right person, that is not something you need to worry about. Focus on what truly matters: celebrating your relationship with the people you care about.
If you found this guide helpful, I would genuinely love to hear how your wedding turns out. And if you have ideas for topics you want me to cover next, please let me know!
Congratulations on your journey together. This is just the beginning of something beautiful.
About the writer:
Kelly Formel is a former HR professional turned writer who creates practical, clarity-focused guides for modern life. Drawing from years of project work, problem-solving, and resource development, she helps readers simplify decisions, cut through the noise, and feel supported across work, home, family, and relationships. Kelly's writing blends grounded expertise with thoughtful perspective, offering the kind of calm, actionable guidance that meets people exactly where they are.
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